I never really thought our relationship would come to an end. God knows, you are the only person I have loved more than anything else, more than my life. You were my sunshine when everything seems so dark. You were everything to me. You have no idea how happy I am whenever I get a notification from my phone and your name pops up. Whenever my phone rings, without looking, I knew you were the one who was calling checking if I have eaten breakfast or if I arrived safely at work or if you didn’t get a text from me when you were on break. Calling you on facetime before I go to bed and waking up in the wee hours of the night and you were still on my iPad watching you get ready for work. I always look forward to every 27th of the month. Sending you long random texts telling you how beautiful you are and how lucky I was for having you despite all the bad things that’s happening along the way.
Today is Valentine’s day and today is the first in 3 years that I spend this day without you – worst, you’re with someone else as I write this. All dressed and made up. This is the worst day of my life next to the day I lost you, my forever love.
I know I have lapses, too. I have so many shortcomings that I thought I’d be able to made up for because I’d never lose you. Remember? We promised that we would be together forever?
When I told you I love you, I meant it. Yes I am still in love with you and I really don’t know where to go from here. Lucky you, you have friends (who know situation). I am alone in this battle and I don’t know if I can make it through. It’s true that I almost killed myself the day you destroyed me.
I am so sorry If I couldn’t fight for you. If only You had helped me, i would have, Sheen. I had plans, Sheen. But you ruined them. Yes you did. I wanted to do it step by step ‘cos it would be hard for my family to accept it once they found out. I couldn’t do it just the way you wanted – I’m really sorry. We were raised differently. We have different people around us. Why is it so hard for you to understand? You said you loved me but why couldn’t you accept me for what I am, for what I can offer?
You said you loved me but why didn’t i know that you’ve got so many friends over there. Little things you hide from me really hurt, Sheen.
You said you loved me but why do you go out with your “friends” and send me your photos with them drinking to make me jealous, to get back at me just ‘cos of the mean things I said. Don’t you know that people say things that they don’t really mean when they’re mad?
You said you loved me but why do you have to destroy me to my family, friends and colleagues whenever we fight? Why do you count all the gifts that you give me and tell people that I am only after your
You said you loved me but why is it hard for you to understand that I only had to go out with that guy just to cover up all the humiliation you did to me. I wanted my relationship with my family back. Just that. I was left with no choice. I couldnt tell you. I had to lie. I had to hide it from you ‘cos I was really afraid of getting humiliated again.
And it happened.
Now I am so destroyed. People are talking about me. I didn’t want to go out, check facebook and stuff.
Few weeks after the incident, you’re dating. Like nothing happened. Saying things like I was the bad person. I know I didn’t fight for you, Sheen, from the very beginning I told you my situation and now its an issue.
I guess I really have to let you go. Kahit kelan di ko nakuha yung respeto na deserve ko from you. Sana naman don’t date muna. Kasi ang sakit eh. Sobrang sakit.
I still want to believe that we are meant to be, but I shouldn’t. One day, our paths will cross again. I hope.