A Dyke in Detox

eljay32

I miss your laugh
I miss making you laugh
I miss you making me laugh
I miss knowing your highlights of the day
I miss sitting on the phone and taking turns ‘you-tubing’ humorous commercials
I miss coming by your place and seeing the rays of sunshine dance across the water as the waves crash upon the shore’s boulders
I miss those conversations of talking about everything and nothing at all
I miss your inner beauty and enlightenment
I miss the way you sound calling me by my alter-ego name (and how you spelled it)
I miss half priced sushi before hoops (what a gem we found)
I miss the photos you would send of the page of a current read that penetrated your heart deeply
I miss talking about the the page of a current read that penetrated your heart deeply
I miss hearing the jubilation in your voice…

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When you love someone.

It was only in 2010 when I started dating girls. I wasn’t really into girls. I loved men. Everything about them. I dated a lot lot lot of guys in the past and I’ve loved them with all my heart (well, just most of them. Lol)

Let me tell you a story about how I got into the lesbian world.

Before I met the girl I dated for years, I was actually in a relationship with a guy in the province where I used to live. Everything was going so smoothly and we got to a point where we were already talking about settling down. He wanted me to quit my job and start our own business instead. But everything changed in snap of a finger when He cheated on me. He’s been lying to me and I couldn’t take that so I decided to finally end it. It wasn’t the first time he did that.

But All this time he still don’t know That I also cheated on him. I was already in a relationship with a girl. She was the girl from the US that I dated for years. I know my life is a mess. I actually regret what I did I should’ve not wasted 3 years with her.

You may be wondering why??

Our first 2 years were the happiest. We got along really well. We respect each other. We listen to each other. We did what real couples do. We were able to do all these regardless of the distance. Until she started destroying me.

Only a few people know that I’m gay. I’m a closet bisexual. She told people. She told my family. She sent them pictures. I remained calm and denied everything. They believed me I think.
I really don’t care anymore if they don’t. She talked to so many girls and rubbed it in my face.

I couldn’t believe that she did those things to me. She said she loved me. I loved her with all my heart. I know that when you love someone the last thing you would want to do is to hurt them. Right?

Did she really love me?

I wanted to get back at her but I just can’t. I don’t know, maybe I’m just not that type.

This is really what I am going through right now. I am in deep pain not because people already know ( I can handle that) but it’s the fact that the person who did this was the person I’ve given my whole life to.

T.T

D